1. Consider therapy. Purpose: sort out your reasons for leavening. Are you running away, or going toward something… new? Many people follow their children- which can have a sweet up side or a big fat down side. Do your children want you as the Child Sitter? Is that the role you want, and what happens after the kids start school? Or grow too heavy to pick up? 20 pounds of wiggle is a lot to manage…. Will you be a welcome part of the family? Will you live with your children or have your own apartment? Think this thru very carefully. It can be great to be needed, but exhausting and… what about your life?
2. Make a timetable with realistic goals. It took me two years from the decision to the actual move.
3. Financial security is essential so get this one nailed! If you have a financial planner meet with him or her to review possibilities and options. Find where you are financially, what you will have to live on, and develop a budget. If necessary, think about additional ways to make money. Is your home rentable? Can you work part time long distance? Do you have skills you can use in a new place? One of my friends is driving a bus part time, I dog and cat sit for $50.00 a day.
4. Try and get your family to support this move. But understand they may not, for lots of complicated reasons. You may be their chief child sitter, or day care person, or care for an elderly relative. They maybe anxious about your safety, or anxious you may live closer or farther away. Another reason to see a therapist and gather words to reasonably discuss YOUR wants and needs.
5. Arrange for health care coverage. Many plans allow for 6 months out of state cover age.
6. Test the waters. Actually go live where you think you want to move. And stay there for 3-6 months. The year before buying the boat and actually moving to SB I rented a room in a decommissioned convent that had been converted to low income housing for women. I had found the Casa while visiting SB to care for my elderly parents the last five years of their lives. Built in the 60’s for nuns. The first floor had two small offices in the front of the building, two powder rooms, a huge kitchen, and a long and skinny dining room and living room, a chapel, two kitchens, 4 guest rooms with shared baths, and two bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms in the back. The second floor had numerous small rooms with a common shower area, and large bathroom space with sinks and toilets. Light, airy and affordable. My room- a former nuns guest room on the first floor and one of the rooms rented out- had a single maple bed, one vintage lamp, a small wood desk and chair. Everything was original but the mattress, sheets and blanket. Tiny and quiet, it gave me a space to think and contemplate my next step. You might use VIRBO, ARBNB, a house trade or other creative options to find a place, or tackle something totally new and rent a small RV and travel to your chosen spot. Then rent a space and stay for the allotted time period.
7. Shopping. Proximity matters. I found that selecting a home base that is within walking distance of the stores and venues I care about was a real plus. My boat home in the harbor is a 45 minute walk to the important parts of town. Important contains great coffee: Handlebars, the Tuesday and Saturday Farmer’s Market, central Post Office where my PO Box is located (more about that later), Marshall’s, Goodwill my main supplier of used clothing and dishes, Charles Schwab for banking, the bus station, and See’s Candy. Walking is good for me. At 73 I love to eat. But… walking everywhere allows me feel free to enjoy food. And that outdoor, foot time helps accomplish several goals: keep weight stable, check, keep my busy mind calm. Check again. Stay in shape. Also check. And really…carrying groceries in a backpack great way to encourage thoughtful food choices, plus it saves money. I only buy what I can carry.
8. Location matters. In the previous paragraph I encouraged you to find a place close to stores and venues, but another super big reason not be isolated is people. A place outside town may be cheaper financially, but not if you are starved for companionship and people contact. And if you attend church or volunteer a lot, add that to search criteria. The friends you make will grow to matter a great deal. And we all need friendships to sustain us thru challenging-and not so challenging- moments.
9. Do you need to learn a language to be successful in next location? If yes, what language. Living in Central and South America is significantly less expensive than the US, but… I found after 5 weeks in Costa Rica, language matters. And learning a new language is tougher-not impossible- just tougher- for an older scholar/student.